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Why Are There No Blue Fairies?

04-19-2015 | By Roger Skoff | Issue 78


Forget the obvious "fairies" wisecrack for a moment, and think about this: Although the internet is thick with guys out there playing the "Troll", there are no "Anti-trolls" at all―not even one "Blue Fairy."

If, like me, you enjoy sharing your thoughts with other people on the internet, whether on Facebook, on Twitter, in some group, or in some other venue, entirely, and whether you do it just out of camaraderie; to pick up an extra buck or two; or maybe even just because you find the internet to be the best possible place to interact with the greatest possible number of people; the odds are that you've already had at least one run-in with trolls.

It doesn't matter what you write, how well you write, or what subject you write about, if you write on the internet, mixed-in with the people who have legitimate comments on or questions about what you have to say, there will always be some leavening of others, who even though they may not even have read or (no, that would be pushing it too far!) understood what you wrote, will be there to heckle you and―from the easily admired pinnacle of own their ignorance or the abundance of their ill-will―to launch into a full-frontal ad hominem attack that, even they must know, can have no consequence ever except to expose their pen as being a lot smaller than any sword, and far less mighty.

So why do they do it? There are certainly lots of possible reasons: Maybe they have a wife to bring home the bacon so that they don't need to, and while she works, they have the leisure to haunt the internet in search of something (anything) to disrupt, belittle, or simply shoot their mouth off about. Could such a thing be possible? I don't know. Certainly not for all of them! But if it were true for any, I, ever the inveterate (No, not invertebrate!) psychiatrist manqué (Don't bother to look it up; it means "wannabe") might be able to offer some very-deep-but utterly-lame explanation for it like: maybe being dependent on a female makes them feel emasculated, and they seek to reconfirm their potency by lashing out at others in a symbolic show of strength.

Or maybe they've had no accomplishment of their own in life, so they seek to put others down in an effort to put themselves up.

Or maybe they have had some accomplishment, but it's gone unrecognized, and that has them p***ed- off, jealous, and trying gain some recognition―even in the negative, so they don't have to go through life feeling "invisible".

Or maybe they're just a**holes.

Whatever the reason, what I've noticed is that even if they try to attack from a "scientific" posture, they never present either reasons or reasoning, and just cite the orthodox opinions of others. Have they never heard of Copernicus? Or Galileo? Don't they know that authority is ephemeral, and can go away in an instant when some new authority appears and validates exactly the thing that the previous authority had declared to be (I'm going to say it! Yes! Yes, I am! I'm a former cable designer, and I have a right to say the "V" word…) Voodoo!

Could it be that their total reliance on the thoughts and words of others―on established authority―to try to support their own position or attack that of others stems from either the paranoid belief or the certain knowledge that their own thoughts are of no value?

As some of you may have seen, in the past I've presented my own reasoning on a number of subjects and I've even offered simple tests that can be done at home, cheap or free, that would allow my readers to see for themselves if what I have said is true. Wouldn't you think that that would be the perfect opportunity for the Troll Brigade to strut their stuff and expose me or the tests or something if there were something there to expose? Do you know that not once―not even one single time―has anyone ever taken that opportunity and actually acted on it! At least not to write in and tell the rest of us.

What I've also noticed is that trolls aren't real picky about what they attack and, much as they may favor cables or magic bowls or Mpingo discs or some other particular hi-fi "tweak", they seem perfectly willing to pour their vitriol on whatever else might present itself.

Finally, except for a few brave souls (who perhaps need the personal recognition) the great majority of trolls seem to operate under the guise of a "handle" or pseudonym (a nom-de-guerre)

To protect their true identity. This troubles me more than anything else: If ever say or write anything wrong or foolish, everyone knows that it was me and can appropriately point their fingers, hoot, and jeer. For a troll, though operating under an assumed name, that can never happen, and they, like Strauss' Eulenspiegel, can work their merry pranks without fear of retribution.

And, with all that, why―as I asked at the beginning of this article―are there no "Blue Fairies;" no anti-trolls who, out of sheer good will grant the gift of appreciation and perform, exactly opposite to the acts of those others, acts of random kindness?

I, for one, would certainly find such a practice more rewarding and more just-plain-satisfying either to give or to receive.

How about you? Somewhere, there's a Pinocchio waiting for you. Why not give it a try?