Von Schweikert Audio Annual 1-Day Only April 1st Sale. You'd be FOOLISH to miss it!
This year we're pleased to present to you... E.A.R.S. - Give Your Sound System the Treatment it Deserves!
Are you a passionate audiophile? Have you upgraded every component, yet still wonder what more you can do to improve the sound of your system? Then wonder no longer, for our extensive research into the field of signal transmission technology has yielded the solution to that age-old question of which component will benefit most from an upgrade – it's your ears!
Introducing E.A.R.S. (Essential Auditory Rejuvenation System)
Give the most influential component in your system the attention it deserves! With E.A.R.S., you can finally start enjoying your system the way it was meant to be heard. Our kit helps to eliminate
obstructions, improve reception, and condition the ear to ensure the purest signal transmission from start-to-finish.
Every component of the E.A.R.S. kit is made from hard to find stuff, selected for their uniquely hard to find nature. Each kit includes the following.
1. Cleansing Swabs | Woven from the wool of Alpacas herded for generations along the slopes of the Andes, and sourced for its extraordinary moisture-wicking properties, these swabs are the ultimate in Clean & Comfortable™. A must-try before your next critical listening session.
2. Scouring Wands | For gently removing difficult-to-reach obstructions that can form over time, and which degrade the purity of sound from your system. Hand-carved from bone, humanely- extracted from whales – the most musical mammal on Earth.
3. Hyper-Sonic Trimmer | As we grow long in the tooth, certain other features may also grow longer than we like. This hand-held electronic “bushwhacker” cuts back the foliage, taming those wild
hairs, all while operating beyond the spectrum of human hearing.
4. Rejuvenating Solution | Distilled from the tears of audio forum commentators (the high salt content improves the flow of ions through the ear canal and eliminates free radicals).
5. Ear Amplifiers | Cut from a uniquely-resonant crystal found deep within the Earth. With these, one can get up to 12dB of clean volume gain while blocking out external noise, be it a disgruntled
spouse or talkative houseguests. It's like cupping your hands behind your ears, only your arms won't get tired!
Results may vary drastically from user to user, so no guarantees are possible, but some customers have experienced as much as a 231% improvement in their system's performance after just one use of their E.A.R.S.
Don't miss out on this April 1st Sale and get your Von Schweikert Audio E.A.R.S. while supplies last!
- 100% Y2K Compliant
- Works with both Analog and Digital sound systems
- Ear Amplifiers are Hands Free!
- Absolutely zero: Gluten, Soy, Nuts, Dairy, GMOs, BPAs, Lead, Asbestos, or even Matter of any kind!